He's Here! He's Here!

We are so thrilled to announce the arrival of our newest addition! Our chubby baby Nathanael ("Gift of God") has arrived, weighing in at 9 lbs 8 oz.


Thanks to the prayers of many, I was able to have a successful VBAC. Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you who prayed; many of you I do not even know personally, but I am SO thankful you took the time to pray for his safe arrival, that he came right on time, and I was able to have a vbac.

We were all able to go home only 8 hours after he was born! It is SO nice to be home already, and I feel amazingly well. Nathanael is nursing well, is a big-time snuggler who likes to be held a lot, and has his days and nights very mixed up right now!



We are all just SO happy and loving every moment with him. Children are such a blessing and we are all in love with him. One of these days I will write up his birth story and share it with you all. I know you'll all understand if I'm missing in action in the blog world for the next while. If you want to know where I am...a safe bet would be on the couch snuggled up with our precious son, soaking in every moment because the days are going to fly by :-)

Convicted by the Words of a 2 Year Old

I woke up this morning, feeling grumpy and a bit ungrateful, thinking about my aching back, how tired I am, and the many things on my "to-do" list.

My 2 year old woke up this morning running around the house shouting, "Give thanks to the LORD for He is good. His love endures forever. Give thanks to the LORD!!"

Many times I get so caught up in teaching my daughter that I forget the Lord is using her to teach me, too.

Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3

BIG News!!

Photo Credit

Okay, I just cannot keep this a secret any longer, so here it goes...Baby #2 is due January 10, 2012 and we are super excited! I'm 16 weeks today, which is getting close to half-way. Part of the reason why this blog has been lacking in posts lately is because I've been just too way tired to write anything. Every spare moment of the past nearly 4 months have been spent sleeping. No joke. I remember being tired when pregnant with Ellie, but I guess I forgot just how tired a person can get. As for the morning sickness, it's been quite manageable, actually. In fact, no throwing up yet! I can hardly believe it - with Ellie I threw up nearly every day for a LONG time (well into my 2nd trimester). I've felt nauseous with this one, but when it was getting to the gagging stage, I decided to take some meds for it, and that has helped immensely. For some reason when I'm pregnant I tend to get the most horrendous headaches. I'm not the type of person who has a lot of headaches normally, but when I'm pregnant I tend to get lots of really bad headaches and even the occasional migraine. And I eat. A lot. And often. Especially when I feel like throwing up. Yeah, I think I read somewhere that by now I should have gained around 5 pounds...Umm....Try 15 at least. In fact, it could be getting closer to 20 by now. Yikes. As long as I don't gain another 60 pounds from now I'll still be ahead of where I was at my top pregnancy weight with Ellie....wowsers.

Anyway, I'll keep this one short, but I want to blog more about pregnancy and babies since the topic has been consuming my mind lately, so I needed to make the big announcement before I start blogging about it more. That's all for now. I think I need a snack now. Or a nap. Or maybe both.:-)

Bedtime Struggles & Successes

First...the bedtime struggles:

Anyone who knows us well knows we have had some major sleeping issues with our little Ellie. Almost from time time she was born, bedtimes and nap times have caused us problems. She only really started sleeping through the night around a year old and then about 2 weeks into that, she got extremely ill and then with all the hospital stays and traveling, she stopped sleeping through the night again. A few months later, we were back on track, however, bedtimes were still a big struggle. I honestly dreaded putting her down for her nap and for night as it was a battle nearly every single time. One night I spent 7 hours putting her to bed. Yes, you read that right. 7 HOURS. This girl just hates going to bed. I've read books, I've tried all sorts of methods, I did research. Nothing seemed to really work. Sure, some nights we would have a bit of success, but nothing lasting. She would go through phases where she'd go to bed fairly well at home, but then anytime we traveled somewhere, it was a nightmare. Often I would spend hours trying to put her to bed while everyone else played games or visited. Not fun is an understatement. Last weekend we ran into the same problem. This time, she went to bed surprisingly well, but then awoke around 1 a.m. with a terrible stomach ache (this is totally understandable). We got the stomach ache fixed and then the bedtime struggle really began. She wanted to play, not sleep. We tried letting her sleep with us. Nope. We tried letting her cry it out for awhile. Nope. I tried rocking her and cuddling her to sleep. Nope. We tried nearly everything. Finally, around 4:30 a.m. we (Ellie and I) crashed on the couch. She and I slept a grand total of 2 hours. We dabbled a bit in letting her sleep in a toddler bed to see if that would help, but after a few days and nights we gave that idea up for now. Now you know some of our bedtime struggles.

Now on to some bedtime successes...

The last method we recently tried was the Supernanny's (from that t.v. show) sleep separation technique. Basically, it goes something like this. Do your bedtime routine, kiss & cuddle, put them to bed. The first time they get up, go to them say "it's bedtime", give a short cuddle, then back to bed. The second time, you say "it's bedtime" with no cuddle. After that, you basically just ignore them while sitting close by so the child can see you. (If the child is no longer in a crib, you put them back in bed without speaking every time they get out). I did this with Ellie in her crib. For about a week, I would stay in her room until she fell asleep because she constantly would cry to get out of bed.The goal was to get to the point where she no longer put up a fuss when I put her down for bedtime. I didn't think this technique would work because I thought I'd then always have to stay in her room until she falls asleep, but I really tried to stick it out. This week, however, has been phenomenal at home! She has been telling me when she's tired "seepy" or "night night" or "bed," and now when I put her down, there hasn't even been a peep! The key is to wait until she is just tired but not overtired. Some nights, she is so tired that she wants to cut the bedtime story short and points to her bed, indicating she'd rather sleep instead. I am hoping and praying that this is going to be the new norm for us. Now, bedtimes are enjoyable rather than a battle. Of course, I know there will still be hiccups now and then, but I hope this becomes the normal routine. As for the toddler bed...well that can wait!

(Oh...and I chose a picture of a giraffe because that is one of Ellie's favourite animals. She cannot sleep without "Gerry Jaff". This morning she drew a little scribble on a paper, pointed to it, and said "Jaff" (giraffe).

Fear & Trust

Fear is something I have always struggled with it seems. Fear of the unknown (to me). Fear of the "what ifs". Fear of losing a husband. Fear of losing a child.

You would think that after our whole ordeal with our daughter's health concerns last fall, I would be over this whole fear thing. And while it's true that I learned a great deal about trusting the Lord in all things through that situation, there are days where the fear is even stronger than before. It is a hard thing to explain. When I think back to the feelings I had when I thought I might lose our daughter, I can hardly bear it.

The moment we found out she had pneumonia and no neutrophils to fight it off. The moment Ellie's breathing became labored and her lips swelled up during an allergic reaction to the only antibiotic they could use, and I thought we would lose her, fighting very hard to be composed when I felt like screaming. The moment my heart sank when the pediatrician said it's been too long; she should have recovered by now. The moment my heart sank when I heard the first results of the bone marrow test. The week we lived thinking our daughter likely had leukemia.

Those were terrible, terrible days. I remember one Sunday our pastor preached a sermon on David and how David pleaded with God day and night to spare his son's life, even though God had told him his son would die as a result of David's sin with Bathsheba. I can honestly say I've been there. Not in the exact same way David was there, but I've had a taste of the feelings. I've pleaded with God to spare our daughter's life. I've laid on the floor beside her crib crying and begging God to heal her. I've had a taste of the desperation a parent feels when they are utterly helpless to do anything but pray.

The thing is, after all was said and done, the diagnosis was quite hopeful after all. Do you know that there are so many parents out there whose child's final diagnosis is not hopeful but is the absolute worst news in the whole world? That is something I cannot relate to. The thought of facing something like that causes such fear in me I cannot explain. Hmm...how can I write what I'm trying to say. If the fear & desperation I felt with our daughter was so close to unbearable when things ended up turning out okay, how would I possibly bear the circumstances if things had turned out differently? What if God had chosen to take her? I can't even fathom being able to cope with that. See, with each child you have, there is always the risk of losing that child. Of course, every child is a blessing, but that does not negate the fact there there will be some degree of pain involved, and even the possibility of nearly unbearable pain in the event that you lose that child, or worse, your child grows up to reject Christ. That is where fear really comes in for me. In a strange sense, I even fear having another child because of the possibility of losing that child. I believe the enemy puts that fear in me. Fear like that is not from God. Because with the possibility of another child is the possibility of another soul won to Christ, another missionary to preach Good News. Of course the Devil wouldn't want Christians to have more children if it means more soldiers for Christ. And of course, I would never, never, never trade having Ellie even if it meant escaping all the pain in the world. She is too great a blessing.

My heart breaks as I read stories of parents who have to bury their children. Although I cannot even come close to understanding what they are going through, I do believe the situation with our daughter has softened my heart and given me more compassion for those going through difficulty. And I believe that even when the worst thing imaginable happens, God gives you enough grace to get through. (On my sidebar is a link to a blog called Rainbows and Earthquakes, written by a relative who has recently lost her son. It is a testimony to how what God takes you to, He will bring you through.)

Going through all that with our family was a terrible place to be, but at the same time it was a wonderful place to be. See, during that time, I had no choice but to fully rely on God for strength. I prayed more during those days than I ever have in my whole life. I read my Bible more during those days than I ever have. God spoke to me through His Word and through whisperings to my heart. God is not distant; He is near, and He was especially near during those terrible days. It was incredible how he carried us through. And so, in that way, it was a wonderful place to be- Perhaps even the best place I have ever been, in that I had to trust the Lord more than I ever have.

I guess it really boils down to just one thing: trusting God.

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5

Be Courageous Enough...

Last night I was listening to a Christian radio program that I occasionally listen to in the evenings. They were discussing being a mom and raising kids. Truthfully, I wasn't listening all that closely and can't remember much of what they talked about. I can't even remember who they were interviewing (I think her name was Lisa), but something that this lady said really resonated with me. She said that something God had spoken to her was, "Be courageous enough to let Me write your children's testimonies." That literally brought me to tears. I cannot tell you how much I can relate. When I heard that, it seemed as though God was speaking directly to my heart, "Jenna, be courageous enough to let me write Ellie's testimony."

The times I have prayed for our daughter to be healed are too many to count. I have so many questions as to why God hasn't healed her yet. I suddenly realized that instead of letting God write my daughter's testimony, I have been trying to write it. In my testimony for our daughter, I have written that she is miraculously healed in this lifetime. It suddenly struck me that perhaps that is not God's testimony for her life. I don't know what He has planned, whether it is to uphold her whole life with the prayers of His people, or whether it is to miraculously heal her, or whether He will take her before I think it's her time to go.

So often I forget the words in Psalm 139 "in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them." There is nothing, nothing I can do to add to the number of days that God had already ordained for our daughter's life before she was even born.

Thinking about this, I've realized that I have even tried to write my own testimony at times. What do I mean by this? I have dreamed and hoped of growing to a ripe old age with my husband by my side and grandchildren running around and then someday in the very, very far future dying peacefully and painlessly in my own bed...or I have hopes of never dying at all, praying that the Lord will return before I die. And while I think it is alright to pray for such things, at the same time, I must remember that God is sovereign. I am not. My purpose is not to live a happy, care-free life. My purpose is to glorify God and point people away from myself and toward Christ. His ways are not my ways. His thoughts are so much higher than my thoughts. I must be courageous enough to let God write my own testimony, as painful and trial-full, as long or as short as it may be, with the prayer that God will get the glory.

For me, it's an impossible task on my own strength. I simply am not courageous enough to do so. My sinful self would much rather try to take control and pretend I can control it all. However, I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, including letting go and letting God. That is not to say we shouldn't pray. Of course we should pray! And pray often! Pray for our children's salvation, safety, and health. Pray for wisdom in training and raising our children. Pray for miracles. Pray for healing. I know I won't quit praying for my daughter to be healed. But while I pray, let me never forget to follow our Lord's example and also pray not my will, but Thine be done.

*linking up to Raising Homemakers*

Picky Eater Bootcamp Day 1

** Update: Finally, around 6:30 p.m. we had a bit of a breakthrough! She had a couple little meltdowns in the later afternoon, saying "snack snack" and got upset when I kept offering her the squash, beef, and potatoes, which she had refused, refused, and refused all day long. We sat down to supper at about 6 and she still refused! I let her down while I finished my supper, and then she asked for food again. So, back up into the high chair, while I explained to her again how she must eat what is offered to her. I slightly caved and put a little sour cream on it for her. (Hey...I put sour cream on nearly everything, too ;-)). After picking and prodding at it for awhile, she finally took a bite. Then, more picking and prodding. Then, another bite. And another. And another...until she ate the whole plate full! She got so into it, that she even wanted a bit more squash off of my plate. It wasn't quite enough to fill her up, so I decided to test the limits a little more..not too much..but just a little. So, I made up some oatmeal, which she had previously spit out and refused last week. I added a little brown sugar, cream, and cinnamon, just like I always had, but this time...she gobbled it all up and didn't spit it out once! I considered this a success as she flat out refused to eat the oatmeal last week. After she ate her whole bowl of oatmeal, she was still hungry, so I decided to test a little more. I offered her a little peach crisp (new food for her) for dessert. She ate that all up, too, until she said she was full. I'm certain she normally wouldn't have touched it because of it's texture, but I think she might be getting over this bad habit. I am encouraged and excited for tomorrow. I think I might offer the oatmeal and some scrambled eggs and fruit (she has so far refused to eat scrambled eggs) for breakfast and stick with that for the day. **

Today is Day 1 of Picky Eater Boot Camp at our house. I think I mentioned before that our 16 month old daughter has become an incredibly picky eater. She pretty much refuses to eat anything except bananas, oranges, toast, macaroni, yogurt, and grilled cheese. Even if I tried adding things like ground beef in her macaroni, she would just flat out refuse. I know that if she's hungry enough, she will take 3 or 4 small bites and then ask for something else like milk or a banana, so it's not like she can't eat what she's served if she's hungry enough. For awhile, she was throwing the food overboard if she didn't like it, but I think we've finally gotten that to stop. I had been trying to give her what we were having and then not allow any snacks in between meals, but that didn't seem to be working. Plus, meal times were turning into huge battles, and honestly, I was just tired of that and frustrated since it didn't seem to be working. It got everyone worked up and it was exhausting.

I came across this article about addressing picky eating, so I decided that I'd give it a try, starting today. I like this idea better than what I had been trying because it doesn't really turn meal time into a whole long, drawn out to-do. If she refuses, I just smile, tell her to tell me again when she's hungry and she can try again, and then put it in the fridge and let her go play. No big deal. Meal times are more pleasant this way, and I think this will probably work. She is a smart girl. Even though I know the next week or so will probably be hugely challenging, I think (at least hope!) that she will finally figure out she is to eat what she's served. This is for her own benefit. When I look at the big picture, I realize that I want her to be healthy, and for that to happen, she needs to learn to eat healthy foods. My job as her mother isn't to cater to her every whim; she doesn't know what is best for her nutrition.

Breakfast: I gave her one banana and half a glass of milk. (In hindsight, I wonder if maybe I should have started off with something she has been refusing, but I felt sorry for her and kind of gave in a little!) I know she was still hungry (she tells me when she's hungry), so instead of her usual toast, I gave her some mashed potatoes, baked squash, and minced beef. She refused, of course. So, I smiled, put it in the fridge, and told her to tell me when she's hungry again and then she can try it again. She went off to play.

Lunch: She was served the potatoes, squash, and beef again. She flat out refused at first. I let her down, played a bit, and then about half and hour later she asked for food again. I went and got the same food again. This time she took a few bites. Then she refused again. So, down she went to play and then have a little nap.

That's where we are at so far. I know she's strong-willed, so I'm not sure how long she'll hold out until she gives in (I'm hoping she gives in today, yet), but she's also smart, so it might not take as long as I think. Here's to hoping and praying this will fix the picky eating problem!

Mothering Mistakes

I thought I had all the answers before I became a parent. I had the answer to fix a picky eater, a strong-willed, disobedient child, a toddler who refuses to sleep, a noisy toddler who won't sit still in church, etc. etc. I was prideful and ignorant, and most definitely clueless, even though I thought I knew what I was talking about. Well, I've learned my lesson (I hope!) :-). The Lord has given us a delightfully rambunctious, strong-willed child...who is currently...yep, you guessed it...a picky eater, has sleeping issues, is noisy and restless in church, and is not very obedient yet. And I thought I had all the answers to all these problems...
Well...somehow our baby turned into a toddler (when did that happen??), and our cute-as-a-button toddler is very intelligent.

Here's a little story...did I ever tell you how she figured things out pretty quickly with me when we tried potty training? After a few successful goes at it, she suddenly started refusing to even sit on the potty. So, I started giving her a sticker every time she would sit on the potty. Well, it wasn't too long before I was hearing "mama, potty, pee pee" every 5-10 minutes. She'd run to the door, indicating she supposedly had to "go", sit on the potty, and ask for a "sticka, sticka?". Of course, she had to go at the most convenient times...you know...bed time, nap time, quiet time, etc. etc. After I finally clued in to what was going on...I stopped giving stickers for just sitting on the potty. We are currently not trying to potty train anymore. We have a few other issues that need our attention first :-).

Anyway, so after attending church this past Sunday, I think I finally clued into the fact that I have not taken the time to train her properly. Although I thought I had, I am definitely doing something wrong. If there's one thing I think I've learned, it's that I can't expect her to behave properly and obey me instantly if I haven't taken the time to train her how to behave and to obey instantly. (And if there's anyone out there who thinks that she isn't old enough or understands enough to obey simple commands...well...you haven't met our daughter! :-). And rest assured, I don't expect her to obey a command unless I'm 100% certain she understands the command and I've demonstrated it several times. )

This last Sunday was really eye-opening for us. Picture a toddler squirming up and down, running back and forth on the floor in our pew, crawling under the pew, pitching a fit when we pulled her out from under the pew, scarfing down handfuls of rice puffs as fast as she could, pulling everything out of the diaper bag, making as much noise as possible if she wasn't doing exactly what she wanted to do, and then you have the scene of our family in the last church service. Oh dear. After we got in the car, we said...we have got to do something about this! Well, that "something" has to start at home.

Today is a new day, with new opportunities. And although I will be setting aside some specific training time for "sitting still and quiet training", I know there will plenty of opportunities for training throughout the day as we go about our regular business. The key is that I must be totally okay with stopping whatever I am doing in order to correct each and every act of willful disobedience. I do know if there's one thing I need to be, it is consistent. The main task at hand is teaching obedience.

Looking back, I think this was where I've been making a big mistake. I've been focusing on having her complete a task (such as "come here") instead of focusing on the heart issue of obedience (immediately do what I say). As another example, I have been teaching her to clean up her toys (the task). However, I was emphasizing having her complete the task (cleaning up the toys) rather than obeying the command (immediately do what I tell you to do). So, if she would hesitate to clean up her toys or clean up some toys and then play for awhile and then clean up toys again after a few minutes, I would praise her after the toys were cleaned up (a completed task) even though she hadn't actually fully obeyed me (perhaps she had played with her toys, asked for a drink in between, or done something other than clean up her toys in the process). I'm thinking this is why she does not always obey when I tell her to be quiet, sit still, stop whining, etc. Although these are all things she understands, she doesn't think she has to obey because I haven't taught her to obey...I've just been teaching her to complete separate tasks (clean up toys, come here, etc.). There is a subtle, but big difference. I am realizing that I need to focus on instant obedience instead of a completed task.

Even today as I was trying to teach her to obey me when I gave her a simple command (the command was to put her head on my shoulder as she was tired and getting ready for a nap), it took several tries before she submitted her will and obeyed. At first she tried to distract me by saying "book, book" and then stiffening up and whining. I suddenly realized that I have often been catering to her and giving her things to distract her from doing what the original instruction was. In the past I probably would have just given her the book. This time I did not give her a book as I realized it was her way of trying to get out of doing what I asked her to do.

Ahh...parenting...definitely not the easiest job in the world but one that has potential to be the most rewarding job in the world :-). Oh, and I hope I don't sound like I suddenly have it all figured out. That is not what this post is about! It's about my struggles in training, mistakes I've made, and perhaps some things I'm learning along the way (maybe - we'll see). I most certainly do not have it all figured out. I haven't yet raised a child through to adulthood, and I do not yet have a cheerfully compliant toddler! (Several hours after writing this, I found myself dealing with a horrible temper tantrum (her, not me. LOL). After trying tips I've heard about dealing with tantrums, it still wasn't working. Finally I resorted to completely ignoring her while asking God for wisdom. While I'm not convinced ignoring her worked, she eventually settled down and then I put her down for a nap. She fell asleep right away, so maybe she was just overtired??? I really don't know for sure!)
So, I'm praying for wisdom...much wisdom. Training seems like an impossible task without the grace of and wisdom from God. Oh, I know I will make many more mistakes...many more...but hopefully by being prayerfully patient, persistent, and consistent, our precious little one will learn to accept she is under her parents' authority and that by obeying us, she is obeying God.

Here are couple of helpful articles I came across about training children to sit still. I am going to try some of the tips to see if we can remedy this issue (please note, again, the real issue I think is actually obedience).

• Elisabeth Elliot offer her thoughts and advice on babies in church here
• Raising Godly Tomatoes article on babies in church
  

For Her:

"Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord".
Colossians 3:20

For Me:

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

P.S. Any tips on dealing with picky eaters are welcome! Our current rule is she must eat what we are having (unless it's completely not toddler-friendly). If she refuses, she does not get any dessert and does not get any snacks or milk between meals (only water). We are on Day 2 of this method, and it is sort-of working. However, she seems to just take a few bites to waive off the immediate hunger and then is stubborn and strong-willed enough to wait until bed when she gets 1 bottle of milk. I do not allow her to have milk right after supper when she asks, but I make her wait until her bedtime. We are hoping this method will fix the picky eating. It's not that she can't eat what I serve (she will gladly take a couple bites of what's served, but then she'll decide she doesn't like it, refuse any more, and then ask for things she likes such as bananas, yogurt, milk, etc.). She can gobble down grilled cheese sandwiches, bananas, toast, and macaroni fast and furiously, but if it's not one of those choices, she becomes very picky.

Christians' Attitudes Regarding Children

I have been wanting to write about something that has been on my heart for a long time now. This blog post has been whirling around my head for weeks, so I thought it was time I take the time to write some of my thoughts down.

I want to talk about Christians' attitudes toward having children.

The Bible is very clear about how God views children. Children are a blessing and reward from the LORD.

Psalm 127:3-5 (KJV)

³Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. ⁴As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. ⁵Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

Now here are two views on having children, and I personally disagree with both.

First, there are those who do not view children as a blessing but rather as a burden. You might hear them say something like the following:

"What? She's pregnant again? You'd think 5 kids would be enough!" or

"Look at those people. They are selfish to have so many children. Don't they know that the planet is already overpopulated? It's because of people like them that there ought to be limits on the number of children one can have."

Those statements really make me cringe, especially when I hear them coming out of a Christian's mouth.

Then there are those who believe that if a couple has only 2 or 3 children, then they must be selfish or are viewing children as a burden. Although that might be true of someone who has only 2 or 3 children, it is not necessarily true, so I also cringe when I hear Christians say things like this:

"What? They only have 2 children? What's wrong with them? They must not be trusting the Lord...They must be selfish...

There are also some Christians who believe that Christians should give God complete sovereignty over one's womb and will equate that to mean that Christians should not practice any form of family planning whatsoever. For Christians who choose to not use any form of family planning and believe God has called them to that, I respect that. After all, children are a blessing, and in fact, the Bible shows that in certain circumstances God opened and closed the wombs of some women in the Bible. However, I think that using those examples to prove that the Bible forbids family planning is a misuse of those passages. To my knowledge, there is no passage in the Bible that tells us exactly how many children we are to have. To my knowledge, there is also no passage in the Bible that forbids the practice of family planning unless, of course, the method used is taking a human life.

Side Note: Obviously, any method of birth control after conception is the taking of a human life. We know from passages like Psalm 139:13, Isaiah 44:2, and Luke 1:36 that the Bible teaches that life begins at conception. Please realize that there are some birth control methods (not just abortion) that act after conception and take a human life. I won't get into those methods here, though.

Most people I have come into contact with, however, seem to view children the following way: They claim to view children as a blessing but yet look upon those who have large families as being "strange" or "weird" wondering why on earth would they want so many? Generally, they would consider families with 2-4 children as being "normal" but any more than that to be "abnormal."

But here is my question: Who determines what is a "normal" number of children to have? We only have to look back a couple generations to see that in our great-grandparents' days, having ten children was considered quite "normal." Those with only a couple children would have been viewed as "abnormal" in their time.

I am not telling you how many children you should have. Let's not play the numbers game. What I am asking is that we examine our hearts regarding children, myself included. Do we have a biblical worldview of children, or have we been brainwashed by the world? We know that Satan and the world hate human life. Abortion is rampant in our society. We know that God deeply values human life and loves children. We know the world tells us to focus on "me me me", while God calls us to deny ourselves and set our hearts and minds on things above.

If you were to ask me how many children I want, I would probably respond with this. I don't know how many children the Lord has planned for us. He has not revealed to us a specific number, and my husband and I do not have a set number in mind. Our hearts' desire is to have several children. How many is "several", I do not know. We also know that if I have another C-section, I will probably be medically limited as to the number of children we can have. We can only trust the Lord with these things, and we try to seek His will in all things, including the number of children He wants to bless us with.

If you have a set number of children you desire to have, why? Why would you want 3 children as opposed to 4, for example? I think these are good questions to ask ourselves. Are our motives selfish or godly? And for Christian women, are we submitting to our own husband with regard to how many children he wants? Are we seeking the Lord's will or our own will? Have we prayed and asked God what His will is for our lives in the area of child-bearing?

Ecclesiastes 12:13 (KJV)

¹³Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.

Matthew 6:33 (KJV)

³³But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Ultimately, it is a heart issue. Fear God and keep His commandments. Seek first the kingdom of God. He will faithfully work out the rest. :-)