Waiting...Happy Due Date to Me

Happy due date to me! I'm starting to get a bit impatient and feel like this baby is *never* going to come, even though we all know that isn't true. Ever since my midwife appointment on Monday when she tried to "help things along" I've been feeling pretty crummy. I have been feeling very flu-ish with lots of irregular contractions and major back pain, which leads me to think this baby is still posterior, which is likely why things are taking forever to get going. On Wednesday night, I was having pretty steady contractions for 3 hours, but after I went to bed nothing really happened. Thursday, more of the same. This morning at 4:30 am I woke up to contractions again, but this time, they were quite a bit stronger...very much "real' contractions. I tried, unsuccessfully, to sleep between them and finally around 7 am I decided to call my parents to ask them to come into town as they were steadily coming about 5 minutes apart. Shortly after that, they were 4 minutes apart and intensifying. I was pretty convinced this was "it". Around 9 am I called the midwife to give her the heads up that I was probably in early labour since they like to be notified in advance. Well, wouldn't you know it...right after that phone call, things settled down. They started to come 10 minutes apart, though they were lasting at least a minute long and were stronger. This happened for a couple more hours, and then pretty much everything just quit. Upon the midwife's recommendation, I took some meds around dinner time and had a long nap. Now tonight I'm still having contractions every now and then, but nothing too crazy. Basically, I'm in early labour, so this could take a couple more days or only a couple more hours!  It's funny how every labour is so different.

 I'm starting to freak out about what I'm about to endure. There are so many unknowns when it comes to childbirth and every labour is different. Truthfully, I am undecided as to whether I prefer a c-section to another VBAC. My VBAC with Nathanael went smoothly, but oh dearly, the pain. I haven't forgotten. I begged and begged for an epidural but, of course, it was in the -40s C and the anesthesiologist's car wouldn't start! (Hello....TAXI?). The risk of uterine rupture is always on the back of my mind along with the fear of how big this baby is going to be. Oh, and did I mention the pain?

My sweet friend, who is a trained midwife, sent me an email today about how she coped with labour and I think I will try her method to "embrace" the pain and focus on it rather than distract myself away from it. In early labour, that is quite easy to do. It will take much more focus to do that in transition, though.

What is really comes down to is trusting the Lord. His will is perfect and He will guide us through this, whatever may come. I really could use prayer that I would not be so fearful about this all.

It won't be long now.