Because I Want the World to Know...

just. how. much. I. love. him.

Celebrating 6 years of of wedded bliss,

Feelings about My C-Section & Trusting the Lord

Sometimes I have no idea how to start writing a blog post. This is one of them. Anyway... almost 2 years ago I had an emergency C-section with Ellie, and let me tell you, I was SO not prepared for that. We went to prenatal classes to learn all about labour techniques and all the basics about birth, and when the part came to learn about C-sections, I totally tuned out. I NEVER thought I would have a C-section. The possibility didn't even cross my mind. Of course, I should have realized that it was a possibility, but for some reason I was absolutely convinced that I would not have to have one. I suppose then it shouldn't come as a shock to me when I feel a very strange sense of disappointment and even a tiny bit of anger when it comes to thinking about having a C-section. I know, I know... I should just be thankful everything turned out okay, and I am. Believe me, I am very thankful mama and baby ended up being all right. And I completely understand that had I not had a C-section, things could have possibly turned out much worse. I also understand that my C-section may have been unnecessary. Then again, it may have been completely necessary, and had I been living in a time when medicine was not as advanced, perhaps mama and/or baby would not have been all right. In hindsight I wish I would have asked a few more questions before agreeing to the C-section. I wish I would have stuck it out a bit more rather than getting an epidural when things weren't progressing during active labour. Yes, all the could have's, should have's, wish-I-would-have's, and might-have-been's. I will never know what would have happened otherwise, and I probably do not want to know. What I'm trying to say is when things don't turn out according to our expectations, we shouldn't be surprised to feel some disappointment. Part of me feels guilty and selfish for feeling disappointed when everything turned out okay in the end (other than the implications a c-section has on future pregnancies and births), but the other part of me feels like it's really quite normal given my unmet expectations. I should have not been so caught up in my expectations while pregnant because it set me up for feelings of disappointment. Of course having a c-section is not the end of the world, but this does not negate my feelings about the experience and the implications for future pregnancies and births. I hope I don't sound bitter or ungrateful. I truly am grateful for the miracle our little Ellie is. And in the end...whether a person has C-sections, natural labours, homebirths, etc. don't really matter if we are seeking the Lord in our decisions. I mean...look at our precious baby!



Do you want to know the biggest reason I am disappointed in having a c-section? It's because the number of biological children we can have might now be limited. The general consensus among most doctors is a maximum of 3 c-sections, although you might come across a doctor here or there who will say it totally depends on the person. As I was going through my discharge papers with the nurse before we left the hospital with our newborn, I asked, "Does this mean I have to always have c-sections from now on?" The answer I got was a sympathetic "yes, probably" from a nurse who had to have c-sections herself.

Before my husband and I got married, we discussed the common question, "How many children would you like to have?" Neither of us really had a concrete answer. We still don't have a concrete answer. We don't know. Maybe we would only have 3 even without having to have c-sections. Then again, maybe we'd have 4 or 5 or even more. We're trying to seek God as to how many children He would like us to have. The fact that having another c-section pretty much guarantees a maximum of 3 is what is disappointing for me.


Now here is where a lot of you might really think I've got issues...and I do (have issues, I mean. But really, who doesn't?) These days most people choose to have only 2 or 3 kids even though they could easily have more. As long as they are seeking the Lord's will, following Him, and do not have selfish motives, this is fine in my opinion. Nowhere in the Bible does it say we have to have a certain number of children. I realize that many fellow believers disagree with all forms of natural family planning and instead choose to trust the Lord's sovereignty over the womb, meaning taking no action to prevent pregnancy. I respect their convictions but do not necessarily believe it is sinful or showing a lack of faith to practice some forms of natural family planning. My husband and I personally believe we should seek the Lord's direction as to how many children He would like us to have, but we do not believe this means all forms of child planning are banned. I disagree with most forms of birth control, but I'm not going to get into that right now. The key is to ask ourselves if we are deciding this based on our own selfish desires or because we believe it's the Lord's will. Nowadays, many people view children as an inconvenience instead of a blessing. Now I'm going off on a tangent. Anyway, what I mean to say is that I find it difficult that here I am wanting the option of having more than 3 children when most people with the option to have more never choose to have more than 2 or 3. I know that sounds and is ridiculous, but it's kind of how I feel at times.

The irony is that in trusting the Lord to lead us in the number of children He wants to give us, I ought to realize that perhaps having to have c-sections IS the Lord's way of showing us His will. As in, it is possible that His will for us would be to have only 3 biological children should I end up needing all c-sections.
I should add that even if I do end up having all c-sections, it does not necessarily mean 3 is all God would like us to have. I heard of one lady who safely 9 safe C-sections! Besides, there is always adoption.

Okay, I need to wrap this up. Here's the thing. I am planning and praying for a VBAC this time around. I desperately tried to get on with the only midwife here and called the same day I found out I was pregnant, but she was already booked for that month. I have found a doctor here who is willing to let me try but is a bit apprehensive about VBACs. (When Ellie was born there was no one who was willing to do VBACs here.). Update: Our region hired a new midwife recently, so I was able to get on with the midwifery program when I was around 20 weeks pregnant, praise the Lord!



Notice I said "I" am planning a VBAC. The Lord may have other plans. And you know what? I am okay with that. After all, His plans are ALWAYS better than our own.

This is where I just need to trust Him.

Lazy Cabbage Rolls

Lazy Cabbage Rolls - serves 6

1 pound ground beef

2 cups chopped onions

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 can condensed tomato soup

1 cup water

1/2 cup rice

1 teaspoon beef bouillon mix

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper

1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper

1/8 teaspoon nutmeg

8 cups shredded or chopped cabbage (can also use prepackaged coleslaw mix)

sour cream to garnish

In a large skillet or saucepan, brown beef, onions and garlic until ground beef is cooked. Drain off fat. Add next 8 ingredients. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, covered, for 20 to 25 minutes or until rice is tender and liquid is thickened.

Sprinkle half of cabbage over bottom of a greased 9 x 13 inch baking dish. Spoon half of beef mixture over cabbage. Sprinkle with remaining cabbage.Spread remaining beef mixture over top. Bake, covered, at 350 F for 1 hour or until bubbly and heated through.

Serve with sour cream to garnish.

NOTE: Tomato sauce can be subbed for the soup. If using sauce, increase water to 1 3/4 cup.

Menu Plan Monday

I haven't been following my menu plans as closely these days...mostly because some days certain foods totally turn me off and other days I just "have" to have something. Pregnancy is a funny thing that way. With Ellie I was horribly sick but didn't have as many cravings as I have this pregnancy. The other day my husband asked me when we would eat the big box of chicken fingers we have in the freezer. I told him that I could make them for him if he wanted but I just couldn't eat them. I don't know why, but the thought of eating those chicken fingers just makes my stomach turn.

Here's the simple plan this week...although it's very subject to change according to what I'm craving or having an aversion to at any given moment.

Sunday
BLT's

Monday
Homemade Tomato Soup & Grilled Cheese

Tuesday
Chili, Cornbread Muffins, Salad

Wednesday
Leftovers

Thursday
Homemade Pizza & Salad

Friday
Leftovers

Saturday
Some kind of pasta with veggies...not sure yet!

*For more great meal ideas, visit Menu Plan Monday hosted by orgjunkie.com*

Easy Focaccia Bread

This is an easy and delicious recipe for homemade focaccia bread that goes very well with pasta.

Easy Focaccia Bread - recipe adapted from here

2 3/4 c. flour

1 c. warm water

2 Tbsp. instant (quick-rising) yeast

1 tsp. salt

1 tsp. sugar

1 tsp. garlic powder

1 1/2 tsp. dried oregano

1 Tbsp. olive oil

2 Tbsp. Parmesan cheese

Mix yeast with flour, sugar, salt, garlic powder, and oregano. Add oil and water and mix until all flour is mixed in. Turn dough onto floured surface and knead until smooth and elastic. Place in greased bowl, cover, and let rise for about 30 minutes (a little less if pressed for time). Lightly punch down and press into a greased 9 x 9 inch baking pan. Let rest for about 10 minutes. Poke holes in it with your fingers. Brush with oil and sprinkle parmesan cheese on top and additional herbs if desired. Bake in preheated 350 F oven for 20 minutes or until golden brown. Serve with a plate of olive oil and balsamic vinegar for dipping.

Revamped Menu Plan

So I am totally ditching this week's menu plan. The only thing I've actually made so far is the lazy cabbage rolls. I will be posting the recipe for them soon. Yesterday I went grocery shopping and decided to pick up one of those rotisserie chickens to turn into some new meals instead. So, yesterday we had easy chicken tostadas and today we had creamy spaghetti casserole with homemade focaccia bread & Caesar salad, and tomorrow we aren't having pizza; we are having leftovers. There you have it. Sometimes I follow a menu plan and other times this pregnant body is just craving something else. Thankfully, I could whip all that up with stuff I already had in hand and didn't have to buy any extras other than the rotisserie chicken, which looks like it will be giving us at least 6 chicken meals. I already threw the leftover chicken in the freezer for another day. I hope to get a bunch of recipes posted up soon.

Menu Plan Monday

Oops. I forgot to plan my menu on Friday (which is my usual menu planning day...or Saturday...or Sunday), so I spent today working on my menu. No, it didn't take me all day to come up with the menu if you were wondering. Well, not really. Although, I discovered Pinterest today, which has seriously changed my world-wide-webbing for the better, so uhhh...I did spend a decent amount of time snooping around new recipes and pinning them to my board, which greatly increased the amount of time used to plan this week's menu. P.S. If you want to jump on the Pinterest bandwagon but don't feel comfortable using your Facebook to sign up with, you can sign up using Twitter, which is what I did. But just for the record, I don't Twitter...or tweet, or whatever it's called. I just have an account that I never use for the explicit purpose of signing up for Pinterest. Umm..yeah, nevermind. I have gone off on my tangent for long enough. Here's the plan for this week:

Sunday
Picked up subs for lunch
Visiting family for supper

Monday
Frozen Pizza for lunch
Lazy Cabbage Rolls (recipe to come), Tossed Salad, Steamed Veggies

Tuesday
Leftover Lazy Cabbage Rolls

Wednesday
Easy Curry Chicken, Rice, Salad

Thursday
BLT's, Potato Wedges

Friday
Homemade Pizza, Caesar Salad

Saturday
Leftovers

*For more great meal ideas, visit Menu Plan Monday hosted by orgjunkie.com*