It is not a nice feeling driving on ice with no visibility and ice freezing onto your windshield. It is not a nice feeling to be driving 20km/hr on a gravel road and start sliding from one side of the road to the other side, heading for the ditch. It is an even not-nicer (how do you like that word!) feeling when you drive 3 hours in poor visibility in a winter storm warning in the worst driving conditions so far this year to arrive at an appointment you've waited 3 months for, only to hear..."ohh...did they not get a hold of you? Your appointment was cancelled today." Yes, indeed. We drove 3 hours one way in "travel not recommended" conditions for nothing. (On the plus side, I did get a little shopping in before I found out about my cancelled appointment, which was kind of expensive, but nice. Around Christmas time, my husband often lets me pick out anything I want or have been wanting for a long time as my "Christmas gift" from him. He is so sweet!) Of course, the roads were supposed to get much worse, so we didn't even get time to really enjoy our wasted trip but had to head back to my parent's house immediately to pick up our daughter.
After another 3 hours of driving in bad conditions (and passing a few vehicles in the ditch), we arrived at my parent's house to pick up our daughter. Then, we headed home onto a gravel road that was the worst road we have ever driven on in our entire life. We were going 20km/hr on the straight stretches and 5km/hr downhill or on the rutty stretches. It was terrible. We had a few instances where we were sliding into the ditch on pure ice, and I was just praying that somehow we would stay on the road. When we got to the highway, we were able to drive 60 km/hr on a road that wasn't great, but at least not nearly as bad as the gravel road we had just been on. Thankfully, after about 100 minutes (it's usually a 40 minute drive), we arrived at home, safe and sound.
I am not angry at all about my cancelled appointment. The doctor (an allergy specialist) had a family emergency, so there is really nothing anyone can do. Yes, it is a big inconvenience for me, especially since I had to drive 6 hours round-trip, but honestly, life happens. We need to be understanding of that. Behind every person is a family and another life apart from, and hopefully more important than, his profession.
I forgot to mention that I actually had a doctor's appointment first in my home town before we headed out for the 3 hour drive to the allergy specialist appointment. That appointment did not really go as well as I had hoped. I was told that I need to go back to the internist doctor, who told me I didn't need to see her again. Confusion, confusion, and more confusion. I feel like I'm running around in circles and not getting anywhere. Why is it that both doctors tell me I need to get more tests done to rule out/confirm adrenal problem and I need to see an endocrinologist, yet no one is willing to order the test or send out the referral? I have been told that it likely isn't Addison's disease, but my toes are darker than the rest of my foot and I have dark patches on my feet, too, which the doctors agree is weird. Like I said before, it's very unlikely it is Addison's Disease (especially because my sodium and potassium levels were normal on my one blood test), but because I have several of the clinical symptoms, my doctor told me it's still possible. I feel like I can't move on with my life until this serious disease is excluded as a possibility. Addison's is serious; in fact, pregnancy is very high-risk and many with the disease opt to not have more children. Ughh...I'm frustrated. I honestly don't even know what to do anymore. I guess my next step is to make another appointment with the doctor who told me she didn't need to see me again, and then beg for the test and referral to endocrinologist. That could take years. I don't want to wait years to figure out if I can move on with my life, have more kids, etc. etc. I cried for an hour after my appointment because the frustration is just too much. I feel like I'm being tossed back and forth between doctors and no one really cares. It might be okay with them if I have to have my life on hold for years, including whether or not it's safe to have more children, but it's not okay with me. All I ask right now is that the serious diseases be excluded. If I could just get that figured out, I wouldn't even care about a diagnosis. At this point, I would just be happy to hear what it isn't, even if that means never knowing what is really wrong. In the meantime, I'm on meds for abdominal pain/ulcers even though no one knows or cares to investigate further as to the cause of my abdominal pain/nausea.
Anyway, I am feeling fairly good today and have actually felt pretty good this whole last week, other than the usual lightheadedness, so I'm going to enjoy my day and try to be productive while I feel well! Here's hoping it's all a weird virus or non-permanent nasty reaction to the flu shot. About that some other time.
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