Bad Results and More Waiting

First...the good news (maybe, more like the Praise News! :-)

• Our daughter's bone marrow test was completed today and she had no problem with the anesthetic and is running around already (with only a slight limp)

• She is home now
• We are all home together for now
  
• My husband, daughter, and in-laws had a safe trip back here in the midst of a winter storm brewing
• I am at home, and pain-wise I'm feeling better
  
• I had my echocardiogram today, have a ct scan of my head tomorrow
  
• We have some awesome family and friends who care about us deeply, love us, and pray for us more than we'll ever know
• We serve the Risen Saviour who grants us strength day by day when we have no strength of our own left
• It's basically a miracle our daughter is still infection-free
  

Now...the bad news (or more like the Prayer News)

• Our daughter's bone marrow test results were not good at all: Basically before the test was done, the doctor told my husband there was a 95% chance that the results would be good, that they would find her neutrophils being destroyed at a later phase, which would mean her immunity wasn't as bad as her blood test shows. This was the expected result. However, our daughter happens to fall into the 5% range in which her neutrophils are destroyed basically immediately, meaning her immunity is even less than expected and meaning there is probably something more serious going on and it may not be chronic benign neutropenia. Update: I think we misunderstood the doctor about this when he first phoned us. I think what he really meant was that she has a very high number of the most immature cells (blast cells) in comparison to the mature cells, which is strange.
  
• This means any bacterial infection could be life-threatening for her (even more so than before)
  
• She's allergic to cephalosporins and penicillins (antibiotics effective in fighting bacterial infections)
  
• This means more waiting and waiting for results, which is very difficult (could be 10 days or so yet)
  
• My head and vision has been feeling pretty funny today, and I'm not sure what's causing it
  

I pretty much don't have the words to say how hard this is for our family. Are we okay? Well, that depends what you mean by that question. Yes, we are "okay" as in we still trust the Lord, we aren't depressed, we take things day by day (more like moment by moment), etc. Are we "okay" as in this is easy, we can do this on our own, we're not tired, we don't need anyone's help or support or prayers. No. In fact, that's a big resounding No. So, if you thought you were through praying for our family, we beg you to please reconsider! And those of you who facebooked me and offered help, well you may be hearing from me soon :-). And am I wondering "why"? Yes, we are wondering why. I'm sure you are all getting sick of all this "bad news" and I don't want to rain on anyone's parade or depress anyone, but this is the reality we are facing (even though it often feels more like a nightmare some days.)

I told the Lord today, He is welcome to come any time. We are ready for the rapture. We are ready to exchange these ragged (albeit young!) bodies for our glorious new ones. That being said, we must still strive to serve the Lord as long as He grants us breath. He obviously has us on this earth still for a reason. We must still give thanks for each day, each moment, He gives us. Today we are home together as a family. We don't know what could happen tomorrow.

Sometimes I might pour my heart out on this blog and it might get a little "raw". I might get more honest than people feel is necessary in today's culture of "Hi, how are you? Fine? You? Fine?" But shouldn't it be okay to be transparent, to not pretend, to get real? Not sure exactly just how "raw" I'll get on here, but I thought I should warn you all just in case.

I'm outta here for now. Time to spend a few precious minutes with my husband. Sad how it takes something like this to make you realize just how precious every moment is.